On February 2015, my wife of 28 years and I became “empty nesters”. With both kids out of the house, I found myself with some time on my hands to be introspective. I mean, here I was, with my 50th birthday approaching like an oncoming train, with my business doing well, and my relationship with my wife being good, I…
Wait, did I say “good”? Why, I wondered, did I want to settle for good? Don’t get me wrong, I had no complaints whatsoever. My wife and I loved one another; we respected one another; I couldn’t remember the last time we had a “real” fight; we were affectionate. But in most other things in my life I didn’t want good, I wanted great; indeed, in most things I wanted Excellent! So why would I want anything less than that with my life mate?
I felt that I wanted to do something special, a renewal, so to speak. But didn’t want to attend some workshop and have some temporary change, I wanted something deeper, bigger. I remembered the early days of our relationship, when I first met her and decided to court her (“court her” – nobody talks like that anymore, I really am approaching 50). I remembered the passion and the excitement, the singularity of purpose. I remember being damn near broke and having to substitute cleverness and spontaneity for expensive gifts and international travel. I remembered how holding her hand was electric and how every minute apart seemed like days. I remember how much FUN we had.
I decided what I wanted to do was date my wife.
So, the first thing I did upon having this epiphany was research the issue. Surely, I couldn’t be the first guy who had this thought.
I started doing research, both on the internet and talking to people who I respected. Most of the people I talked to thought it was a novel idea, but didn’t have much in the way of advice to give. Mostly the interactions were along the line of “Hey, you go for it and tell us how it works out”. And while I found a good deal of information about wife’s dating their husbands, the internet was fairly silent on the issue of husbands wanting to re-do their dating years. In fact, the majority of the information I found for husbands was negative: 20 ways you can screw up your relationship; the warning signs of an affair; how to accept your waining love life.
Well, the hell with that!
I felt strongly enough about what I was doing to tell others about it. I decided I wanted a larger audience – not because I wanted the attention (this is my first blog), but because I was tired of all the depressing articles I found. I wanted to help all my fellow married brothers.
So, this is my story. I’m writing it as I go. I really don’t have a good idea as to how long my journey is going to be, but I’m having one hell of a blast getting there.
And besides, isn’t the journey the reward?